As I write this post I have tears in my eyes. Not tears of sadness but such tears of happiness. never in a million years the man I met to upgrade my phone would now be the one I have fallen in love with. I'll be very transparent in this post. I felt the connection right away. I think we both did. He paid attention to me, wanted to know more, had a vision and it was attractive to me but he was still dealing with a relationship that hadn't ended and well I was married. Also, we lived 4.5 hours away. It just would never be a thing...or so I thought. I didn't know I would be getting a divorce a few months later. We kept in touch. As I said in my previous post my husband knew about him as I was helping to create a new brand. He was ok with it and now looking back I think he was ok with me having him as a friend because it was a distraction for him to do whatever he wanted to do.
Rick and I met in in the fall and we became very close friends. He was very different than anyone I had ever met. We talked daily and I hired him to be my mindset trainer. If at any point in my life I would need help with mindset training now was the time. He opened my eyes to things I didn't even know were there. He challenged me to dig deep and get to the core of who I am and who I used to be. I thought I knew myself pretty well...surprise! It was not the case. I completely lost myself. I continued to evolve physically and emotionally. He was exactly what I needed at the perfect time. Through my separation and divorce he was there for me. We quickly became best friends and we fell for each other quickly but still lived far away from each other. It was a catch 22. I hadn't been alone much in my adult life having been married for 12 years and typically had always been in a relationship. (I'll write more about that later :) I was struggling with having to be alone after 12 years and at the same time needed time to myself to figure things out for my girls and myself. It was tough. Many moments I felt very alone those were the hardest. I felt as though I needed someone but also needed to be alone. It was an internal struggle.
Rick decided to move here the next year in June and it was exciting. However, I was separated and going through a divorce and he was still trying to find closure on a relationship that he was in and out of. For both of us it was amazing being closer to each other but no official relationship status. I wanted it, he wasn't ready. I realize now I wasn't no where being ready either. I just wanted someone to love me...it was tough. I had 3 girls and an ex that was making my life easy by any means and for Rick to sign up for that was a lot! I was also dealing with so many insecurities, trust, and confidence challenges from my marriage. I promised myself I would not bring that baggage into another relationship and he also had his own stuff to go through. Fast forward through us both getting closure on our past relationships and many conversations to figure it out here we are.
Stronger through it all.
In closing,
Letter to Rick:
I thank God for the reason we met. You have changed my life just by being you. You challenge me, inspire me, support me, cheer for me, and love me. I love how we grow together in all aspects of life. You make me laugh when I get too serious, your dad jokes are never ending, and you love my girls like they are your own. I love you so much! we are so lucky to have you in our lives.
Love you!
