You say this time it will be different...You promise to change, You say you love me, You say that if I leave, you don't know what you will do without me and even say you can't see yourself living anymore without me. It's an emotional moment, you are crying and begging me to just give you one more chance. You will do anything I need you to...
These are all very convincing words the first few times you hear them. Then as time goes on you realize that, that's actually all they are...WORDS!
Yes, they have worked on me before, I felt bad for you, I felt like maybe this time things will be better and you will mean what you say. You say cheating was just a one time thing and you are so very sorry. Are you sorry because you got caught? Are you sorry because you know there is a possibility of consequences? What is the real reason these are your go to words/phrases? The only reason I can think of that you continue to use them is because I have continued to fall for them over and over again. Logically that makes sense. If you get the reaction you want by something you do or say makes total sense.
Until....I realize they are just words!
Until I realize that I am stronger than you give me credit for.
Until I stand up and say no more!
Until I say SHOW ME!
Until I say I deserve to be happy and have self worth!
Until I have self empathy
Until I no longer have self doubt and feel unsure.
Until I say I am worthy of love and I know that it comes from within.
Until I have the awareness to see things for what are
Over the years I have given 2nd, 3rd, 4th chances and have continued to hurt over and over again because I believe the words and ignore the actions in hopes it will change.
I understand the cycle, the process when you are in love with someone or have someone in your life you care about.
What if we worked backwards and started with the "Until's" before starting a relationship? How would that change the cycle?
This is my journey of figuring it out..and in this process I am "Remembering to Breathe"
